Eulogy for Ben Bano

Ben Bano, during his time serving as Mayor of Deal

The Requiem Mass for Benet Walter Bano "Ben" - took place at St Thomas of Canterbury's Catholic Church in Deal, Kent on Monday 20 July 2026 - attended by family, friends, local councillors and MPs. The celebrant was Fr Brian Coyle. A reception was held in Deal Town Hall after the funeral. Ben's daughter Sophie Skardon gave the following Eulogy.

Dad was born on the 3rd February 1950 to Emmerich and Suzanne Bano, the youngest of four children. His parents had fled to Britain from the Nazis in 1938 and eventually moved to Ruislip, where Dad grew up. His mother's parents also managed to escape from Nazi Germany and Dad enjoyed the love of affectionate grandparents.

Dad was born at a time when the horrors of war were beginning to recede and his birth marked a new era of hope and joy for the family. His brother, Andrew remembers him as a very happy boy riding furiously on his scooter up and down the long garden and as a talented musician in the church choir, where he developed the love of church liturgy which stayed with him all his life.

From the age of 11 Dad went to the Cardinal Vaughan School in Kensington. Even at the age of 12, he was already making the papers, reporting that his school magazine 'The Challenge' was in trouble and appealing for help with costs of printing. It was at Cardinal Vaughan that Dad met his life long friend Paul Lancaster.

Dad devoted his professional life to serving others. After graduating from the University of Southampton, he went on to complete a Master's degree in Applied Social Studies at Oxford and qualified as a social worker in 1975. From the very beginning of his career, he was drawn to social care and mental health, dedicating himself to improving the lives of some of the most vulnerable people in society.

In 2002, he was appointed Director of Social Care and Mental Health Services for Older People at the East Kent Mental Health Trust, a role he held until taking early retirement in 2005.

Retirement, however, was simply the beginning of a new chapter. In 2007, Dad founded Telos Training, through which he shared his expertise with care managers, social workers and care staff. He developed a particular passion for person-centred approaches to dementia care, believing that every individual should be treated with dignity, respect and compassion.

His growing interest in the role of spirituality in mental health led him, in 2012, to establish the Community Interest Company Welcome Me as I Am. Through this work, he helped faith communities better understand and respond to the spiritual needs of people living with mental illness and dementia.

Over the years, Dad contributed to numerous conferences, publications and educational resources on spirituality, mental health, dementia and end-of-life care. A passionate advocate for holistic care, he believed that true support meant recognising the whole person-their emotional, physical, social and spiritual needs.

His influence extended far beyond the classroom and training room. As Chair of the National Spirituality and Mental Health Forum, he worked tirelessly to champion the importance of spirituality in mental health helping to shape thinking and practice across the sector.

His own faith and love of learning continued throughout his life. In 2024, he completed a Master's degree in Theology, bringing together decades of professional experience with a lifelong commitment to understanding faith more deeply. He remained an active member of several faith communities, participated in the diocesan pilgrimage to Lourdes on a number of occasions, and became a member of the Community of the Passion-continuing to serve others with the same humility, curiosity and compassion that had defined his life.

Dad will not only be remembered for his professional and academic accomplishments. He served for several years as a Labour councillor on both Dover District Council and Deal Town Council, and in 2010 he had the great honour of serving as Mayor of Deal.

Throughout his public service, he championed initiatives to strengthen and enrich the local community. He supported the regeneration of the area, nurtured the town-twinning relationship with St Omer, promoted projects that brought people together through community "warm spaces", and was deeply committed to acts of remembrance. In particular, he ensured that Holocaust Memorial Day was commemorated each year-an occasion that held profound personal significance for him because of our family's history.

Whether serving his community, preserving its history, or standing up for those whose voices were too often overlooked, Dad was guided by the same simple principle: that every person deserves dignity, compassion, and to know they matter.

Combined with his faith, Dad had a life-long commitment to Justice and Peace. His inspiration began with the Dominican Peace Preaching Course in which he had participated at Cambridge in 1974. This was not a course for clerics, but for anyone of goodwill who wished to influence people for the better by communicating the paths of peace. In more recent decades, Dad was well known for his work around migrants, refugees and asylum seekers.

His commitment to this work was shaped by two powerful influences. The first was our own family history when our grandparents found refuge in Britain. The second was his deep Christian faith, which inspired a lifelong belief in compassion, justice, and the dignity of every person.

At a time when public attitudes towards migrants, refugees, and asylum seekers were often deeply divided, Dad became a respected public advocate for their cause. He frequently spoke out in local newspapers and on television, giving a voice to those who were too often unheard.

He also played a leading role in securing the installation of memorial plaques on Dover's seafront to commemorate those who lost their lives in the hope of reaching Britain and escaping war, persecution, and poverty. These memorials became places of remembrance, where people gathered to lay flowers, reflect, and hear speeches from prominent supporters, ensuring that those lives were neither forgotten nor ignored.

Co-founded by my Dad in 2015, Seeking Sanctuary is a small organisation dedicated to raising awareness of the experiences of migrants arriving near our shores, with a particular focus on unaccompanied children. The organisation also provides humanitarian aid to people seeking refuge, especially those stranded in north-west France. For many years, his garage was often filled with donations ready to be transported to the camps, where they would provide much-needed support and assistance to those in need.

Dad drew inspiration from his family background not only in his work for refugees, but also from his mother's family, who were prominent intellectuals in pre-war Germany. Dad became an expert in the philosophy of that period and one of his proudest achievements was to have completed a book just before he died about Christian resistance to Nazism.

Above all, dad was a devoted family man. 'a wonderful brother', 'a wise uncle' and 'a loving husband and father'. Dad met my mum, Marie - Claude in 1971 at a peace rally in Paris. They later married in June 1976. Mum was French and like dad, she was greatly attached to the work of justice and peace as well as welcoming refugees.

They began family life in Somerset where Jerome was born in 1977. They later moved to Hampshire, where I was born in 1980 and later Sebastian in 1984.

In 1987 we moved to Deal. Jerome, Sebastian and I remember our childhood as one filled with happiness, adventure, and the joy of discovering new places. Many of our fondest memories were made on long car journeys, travelling to all corners of Europe. The journey itself was just as important as the destination, with each trip bringing the excitement of exploring somewhere new while visiting family and friends along the way. Those experiences created lasting connections and gave us a deep appreciation for the people and places that shaped our lives.

Birthdays, Christmases and anniversaries were always celebrated. These special occasions were marked by traditions that were uniquely our own, bringing a sense of comfort, togetherness, and continuity wherever we happened to be.

However, Family life was not without its challenges, when in 2016, mum suffered a life changing stroke. Dad took on the role of carer. He ensured that mum still had the best quality of life possible, ensuring that she could access the community that they both loved so much. When mum died in 2021, dad continued to support Jerome and Sebastian ensuring that they too accessed travel that they all love so much. He always put others first. Caring no doubt took its physical toll on dad, but he always sought respite from his academic activities, his faith communities, his passionate work with refugees and asylum seekers, his devotion to the town of deal and to the pilgrimages to Lourdes that took care of mum and dad so well.

I would like to end with some words that dad left us. 'Love to my wonderful, treasured children- please try and move forward without looking back. You will forever be in my prayers'

Dad, you will forever be in our prayers. Thank you for your love and guidance, it is your time to rest now, to be with mum. We will be OK. We are surrounded by the love and support of all those present here today and afar to celebrate your life. However, I have absolutely no doubt that you are already working tirelessly up in heaven, for all those in need of your love and devotion.