CTS pamphlet: A Question of Death & Life

In this helpful pamphlet from CTS, Fr Neil McNicholas asks us to look at our attitudes towards death and as people of faith consider how we might live our life. After entering the Society of Jesus in Oregon he was sent to the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Centre in Seattle to assist in the 'area of patient and family support and counselling'. Then he was diagnosed with testicular cancer and found himself 'contemplating the subject of death from a very different perspective.'

Why are we afraid of death? he asks and says part of the answer lies in our unconscious expectation of immortality, believing we will live for ever. A man fears death because he fears the unknown. We avoid the subject. In the past we could not, infant mortality was high, and the adult population died younger as a result of poor health care, working conditions and diseases which we now have treatments and cures for. Today many people die in hospitals and nursing homes and we are sheltered from the reality of death.

Then Fr Neil cites the 'unbelievable number of euphemisms by way of what we might call 'denial vocabulary'. Also we accept death in films, TV and computer games. It is difficult to remember that on TV news broadcasts we are watching actual death but it is only when accidents, disasters, murders or acts of terrorism happen in our own community that the reality hits home.

He quotes Scripture, one being Thessalonians 4:13-18 - "don't grieve like the other people who have no hope".

Denying death is partially responsible for people living empty purposeless lives. He quotes the writer Elisabeth Kubler Ross that when you fully understand each day you live could be your last you take time that day to grow, to become more aware of who you really are.

Occasionally we should think about it. It is not the quantity of life but the quality that counts. Charles Dicken's A Christmas Carol where Scrooge gets a chance to reflect on his life is an example.

Then making a will, organ donation is mentioned and implications for our spiritual life. For us Christians making our days count gives us a different set of values and imperatives.

How we visit and behave in the company of the dying is discussed. How to give support and comfort to the recently bereaved is also very sensitively mentioned. This area of working through grief is looked at from many angles and gives consolation to those who wish to help. In the days that follow death visitors are plentiful, then comes the lonely days when the reality and loss begin to sink in and it is now 'that the person may need understanding and support most.

Vatican 11 and its enlightenment is now very relevant regarding unbaptised babies, pastoral care of the sick, and the last rites. It reminds us that the Sacraments are for the living and the Sacrament of the Sick is not longer the "last rites" in that sense. Suicide is discussed where the bereaved are left with so many unanswered questions.

Finally planning a funeral is discussed in all its aspects ; who is the funeral for? its structure, its options available, burial or cremation. Also all the symbols and practical points of a funeral.

Finally Fr Neil hopes we can all see death as a friendly companion as in the words of Psalm 117 each day "is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad."

A Question of Death & Life by Fr Neil McNicholas - CTS pamphlet