Reflection: How do we pass on our faith?

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Mum has just collected the kids from school and arrived home.

Ben says: "Mum I'm hungry."

"Dinner will be in an hour love. Eat a banana to keep you going".

10 minutes later she finds him getting through a packet of biscuits which he has just rescued from the cupboard.

"You're not to eat those now".

"Why not, I'm hungry".

"Cos I said so. In this house you do what you're told. You don't eat biscuits just before you're going to have your dinner. Now do as you're told or you go to bed early. And keep up this whining and you will go to bed not only with no biscuits but no dinner as well."

Familiar? Yes - but not very helpful to either party.

How could it have been handled differently?

"Ben put those biscuits back." "Why, I'm hungry". "I know love and you've had a hard day, but If you eat a packet of biscuits now you won't be able to eat your dinner. So just take one and let me have the rest and if you have a good dinner then you can have another one afterwards."

What's the difference? She has appealed to the good in telling him why not and she has explained it to him. He may still sulk a little. But he knows she is right and he will come round.

It's the difference between helping the child to see what is good for him. Or not bothering with all that, but instead imposing your will over his without helping him to see why.

Our Church has been very guilty in the past of teaching her children in this very heavy-handed way. The Church has a very wonderful and sensible teaching to give us when it comes to how we should behave. But boy has she been bad at teaching it.

"Cos I say so" is not a good way to get the best out of people or to help them to see how they should behave. If you want them to do something you must appeal to the good, the reasonable, the rational in them and help them to see why it is good for them and for others to behave in a this way.

Because the church hasn't always done this...explained the 'why' ....as soon as people can have a choice, they abandon her. Why? Because their experience of her is that she is controlling, domineering, disrespectful, and lazy - in not taking the trouble to explain. And so she comes across as hard and a bit of a spoilsport.

There is no joy in being with her. No wonder so many Cathoics have no loyalty to her and have abandoned her as soon as they are old enough to be able to do so.

What a contrast we are getting now then, in the way Pope Francis is approaching his role as supreme pastor of the church. There is so much love in his approach and therefore so much joy. He seeks to bring out the best in all of us. He talks about Joy, acceptance, about being loved by God no matter what mistakes you have made, about the church needing you as much as you needing the Church. He gives people HOPE and a sense that all is not lost.

Today is Gaudete Sunday. It means the Be Joyful Sunday. Even the vestments take a break from the sombre purple to the beautiful rose colour. lightening this time of winter and Advent. Why? Because we are almost at Christmas when we celebrate the fact that someone loves us so much...that someone is God….. That he comes into world to be with me. To be part of my life.

This is what Francis is reminding us of. Our faith is not primarily about do's and don'ts, important as they might be. It is about an encounter with Christ and the fact that he has invited me into a relationship with him, a friendship. I am proud to have my God as my Friend. It brings me joy to be in his company. I want you too to meet him. This is what true religion is all about.

Recently Robbie invited me to dinner. He wanted me to meet his new girl friend. He has had many but believes this is the One. He really wanted me to meet her. He was glowing and smiling like the cat who got the cream. He was so happy and proud of her. Should we too not let people see how happy and proud we are to have Jesus in our life as our best friend, and want people to get to know him.

Once a person gets this, religion becomes a different thing. There is joy.

So, Francis says: "stop walking around as if you have just come back from a funeral!"

Stop looking so miserable. That's enough to put anyone off. God loves you. He is with you. Let's see that truth in your demeanor. A smile coming from the depths of knowing you are loved speaks more to others than a thousand sermons.

I overheard someone say to another person who was a joyful Catholic: "I don't know what your secret is, but I look at you and I say 'I want a bit of that'."

May people say that of all of us.

Canon Pat Browne gave this homily for Gaudete Sunday Mass yesterday at Holy Apostles, Pimlico, London.