Sunday Reflection with Fr Robin Gibbons - 22 July 2018

monk and cat

Sixteenth Sunday in Ordinary Time -

Any one in the business of dealing with people knows the highs of encountering others, meeting new persons, finding common bonds, learning and sharing with them as well as creating friendships that often last a lifetime. There's more of course, it depends on what vocational work one is doing. But there are the lows as well. People can be very demanding, even very selfish in their determination to get what they want out of you, they can be obstinate, refuse to listen, cause trouble in all kinds of ways, intrude into your personal space.

In the past I used to think that things balance out; maybe they have for me and for you too, but occasionally things can get a bit too much, at that point some people cannot take the interaction any more and need to create a safe place to recover.

We've had a hint of these types of problems in the scriptures recently. Jesus reminds us that we don't have to win everybody over and can't, that we will find opposition to our plans, and yes, dreadful to say, our personalities won't appeal to everyone! As Thomas Merton said, 'to love your neighbor isn't the same as liking them'. I've taught and researched in University and been a pastor for 40 years. During that time I've had to take charge of many different events like our Oxford Summer Schools, varieties of liturgies and convene assemblies and conferences of one sort or another. There are times when I have been (and am) unpopular, perhaps also frequently misunderstood, because others haven't all the facts or knowledge at their finger tips, or just maybe I haven't communicated well with them. Occasionally the message given isn't accepted very well either.

Does it matter? Sometimes, but there is a way of dealing with this. One is to get a perspective on it all. Quite often we need to do as Jesus does with his disciples, and as is mentioned in the Gospel for this Sunday. He takes them away somewhere apart when it all gets too much, knowing that in time, those who are genuinely in need of help, advice, or are hungry for His message will find their way to seek help. But until that, some form of quality time, silent, alone or with close connections, is essential, not a luxury.

So it us with all of us in ministry or caring work. We need our time apart for recreation, and in a good old-fashioned term, for our own refreshment. Time wasted on oneself is a necessity, not an extra in life. We are no good to others if we become burnt out, and we also need that space to let things settle, mull about in our minds and souls so that true discernment can emerge within us, in fact listen and discern the Spirit of God in OUR lives for once.

Then there is a warning too, we can, if we get overburdened, become confused by the conflicting reports and happenings about us. We may make bad mistakes and start to become one of those shepherds who drive the flock away. The Lord has hard things to say to those who strike the sheep or scatter the flock. We must look after ourselves so that we remain good shepherds whose qualities of peace, care; concern and merciful love draw others together for Christ's sake.

Lectio Divina

Abba Anthony the Great: The Abba and the Bowman

A hunter in the desert saw Abba Anthony enjoying himself with the brethren and he was shocked. Wanting to show him that it was necessary sometimes to meet the needs of the brethren, the old man said to him, "Put an arrow in your bow and shoot it."
So he did. The old man then said, "Shoot another," and he did so.

Then the old man said, "Shoot yet again," and the hunter replied, "If I bend my bow so much I will break it."

Then the old man said to him, "It is the same with the work of God. If we stretch the brethren beyond measure they will soon break. Sometimes it is necessary to come down to meet their needs."

When he heard these words the hunter was pierced by compunction and, greatly edified by the old man, he went away. As for the brethren, they went home strengthened.

Thomas Merton, No Man Is an Island

"We are obliged to love one another. We are not strictly bound to 'like' one another. Love governs the will: 'liking' is a matter of sense and sensibility. Nevertheless, if we really love others it will not be too hard to like them also. If we wait for some people to become agreeable or attractive before we begin to love them, we will never begin. If we are content to give them a cold impersonal 'charity' that is merely a matter of obligation, we will not trouble to understand them or to sympathize with them at all. And in that case we will not really love them, because love implies an efficacious will not only to do good to others exteriorly but also to find some good in them to which we can respond."